Gripe Sheets.

[miniondave]

Just read these this morning on another forum and thought you might like them.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said
that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (marked with a 'P'), and the solutions recorded by> maintenance engineers (marked with an 'S').
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order. (I love this one)

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200ft per min descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (love this one too!!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget. (that had me crying with laughter)

[Deep Diver]

Good find Dave.

[AngeloftheAbyss]

Cat installed

[lepchaun]

Had us in stitches Dave

[1130cc]

MadBob should be able to give you some he has had.

[Mad B0B]

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

I have seen this variously attributed to Qantas, FedEx, UPS, The American Military and even to us at BA. Looking at the defects I would be inclined to believe its military.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (marked with a 'P'), and the solutions recorded by> maintenance engineers (marked with an 'S').

Of course us engineers have a sense of humour, its developed over many years of having to deal with idiots breaking our aircraft day in and day out with nare a thank you from anybody (im not bitter at all!!!)

now for my entry to this list

P. Apple lost behind Captains rudder pedals.
S. Apple found after brief search, BITE tested satis.

[Herby01]

Lol! That's about 20 years old. Glad it sirfaced again