Rugged outdoor man

[Deep Diver]

During my physical examination, the doctor asked Me about my physical activity level.
I said I spent 3 days a week, every week in the outdoors.
"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical;
I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake.
I climbed several rocky hills.
I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
I ran away from a pissed off mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull Elk.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered.
At the end of it all I drank eight beers and a tall glass of bourbon"

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"No," I replied, "I'm just a really shitty golfer".